Пришло по офисной рассылке. Авторство неизвестно, но смешно 
Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell
today, as an additional ¼ centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell,
bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of
dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops.
Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water
particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With
temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark,
Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before
venturing out.
Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for
emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them
through Vancouver ’s most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian
Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.
Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several
have been shocked to learn that their SUV’s actually have four wheel
drive, although most have no idea how to use it.
Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast
implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health
Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly
safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at
Mountain Equipment Co-op.
“The government has to do something,” snarled an angry Trevor
Warburton. “I didn’t pay $850,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could
sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto ..”
